The Caucasian’s Guide to Black Thanksgiving, Part 1: The Guest List

As part of The Root’s ongoing efforts to satisfy the curiosity of our Caucasian constituency, we have decided to give you a peek inside some of the cultural customs of black America. One of the oldest and most heralded traditions of the African-American community is the ceremony known as Black Thanksgiving.

Black Thanksgiving has nothing to do with the colonization and genocide of Native Americans. Ours is a semireligious ritual based on food, family and sweet potato pie. It is an annual autumnal mini family reunion without matching purple T-shirts or barbecue smoke in your eye.

It is impossible for one to fully understand Black Thanksgiving without knowing the cast of characters who will be present when we join together to break cornbread. The following is a list of people who will appear at all Black Thanksgivings.

Aunts

The first thing you must know about the black family tradition is that the nomenclature assigned to relatives has nothing to do with the traditional definitions assigned by white people to their family members. For white people, an “aunt” refers to a woman who is the sister of their mother or father. This does not hold true in the black community.

In the black community, an aunt is any woman more than 15 years older than you who has been around the family for more than 10 years. Every lady on the street where you grew up is an aunt. All women on the usher board at your place of worship are aunts. And it is pronounced “aww-went,” not “ant.”

Sometimes your actual aunt doesn’t qualify as an aunt. If your grandparents had a female child late in life, she is still the sister of your mother or father, but if she is close to your age, then according to the black definition, she becomes your cousin. An aunt who is very old can even become a grandmother. I know it’s a little complicated for the Caucasian mind, but you’ll learn.

As it relates to Black Thanksgiving, aunts have a special role. The kitchen is the domain of the aunt, and aunts are the only people allowed to make macaroni. I’m pretty sure that’s in the Bible. According to Macaronians 2:23, Jesus has blessed all aunts with the gift of all elbow- and cheese-related pasta dishes. It is a substantial part of the phenomenon that we call “Black Girl Magic.”

Uncles

Uncles are defined in the same way that aunts are listed in the Universal Book of Black Families. All deacons are uncles. All black fathers’ homeboys are uncles. Uncles know how to fix alternator belts while puffing on Benson & Hedges.

At Black Thanksgiving, one of the uncles will pray. Usually it is the uncle who prays the longest. The pre-Thanksgiving prayer is one of the longest prayers in the African tradition, second only to the altar call at a pastor’s anniversary.

Uncles will always bring a bottle of brown liquor. You might not see it, but trust me, it’s there. If you’re wondering what particular brand of whiskey …

Please read original article- The Caucasian’s Guide to Black Thanksgiving, Part 1: The Guest List